Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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