Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
