I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
