he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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