names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
