thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
