he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
