Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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