im six kinds of drunk right now
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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