everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Oh god it's open bar.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
