We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
What a dumb baby whore.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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