How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Its about making memories worth repressing
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
