were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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