Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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