if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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