Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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