Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
