Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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