we have officially lost it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
