drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
