she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
