You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
