Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
