I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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