Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
my liver is dry heaving
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
