burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
