Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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