I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
