no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
