Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
