one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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