I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
