So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
