I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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