So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Farmville is her only friend.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
