and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
