Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Randomize
