I'm passing your future prison.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Even my vagina gasped.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
