she told me i tasted like america
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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