worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
