I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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