She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
