You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
