Soap is not a condiment
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
