You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
