Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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