so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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