i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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