3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
