Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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